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ILLINOIS DIVORCE LAW BLOG

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Most of the cases that we manage at Law Offices of Michael F Roe are complex cases, sometimes involving serious issues with child custody, and often a HCP (High Conflict Personality/Parent). Within these divorce or parentage cases the courts in Illinois follow a pattern of addressing the issues of the best interests of the minor children in terms of where the child(ren) with live primarily, and what allocation of parenting time and decision making will be awarded to each parent. Mediation, while mandatory in Illinois, usually is not effective in these complex cases. More typically, the court will initially appoint a Guardian ad Litem to investigate the circumstances of the parents and the family and give recommendations to the court on allocation of parenting time and decision making.

Practice Pointer: The role of the GAL in a child custody (allocation) case is important, but in my view, it must also be kept in mind that the role of a retained clinician (custody evaluator) is equally significant and important in a complex child custody case. As valuable as GALs are, they do not possess the clinical experience and psychological education as evaluators (most custody evaluators have Ph.Ds in psychology, or the equivalent). Many times, a good GAL in tandem with a good custody evaluator gives the Court the ability to capably assess and evaluate the best interests of children in a complex custody case. 

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In this article, I discuss the role of a ‘guardian ad litem’ in Illinois.

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Dr. Richard A. Warshak
BLOWBACK FOR DIVORCE POISON! MOTHER JAILED, ORDERED TO PAY $84K, AND STRIPPED OF CUSTODY
Spain is a wonderful place to visit. World-class museums, unique architecture, distinctive cuisine. Welcoming to tourists. But not so hospitable to parents who lodge false abuse accusations to win custody.
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The Impact of Parental Alienating Behaviors on the Mental Health of Adults Alienated in Childhood

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Abstract

This study qualitatively investigated the mental health of adults exposed to parental alienating behaviors in childhood. Research suggests that exposure to parental alienating behaviours in childhood can have a profound impact on the mental health of those children later in life, including experiencing anxiety disorders and trauma reactions. An international sample of 20 adults exposed to parental alienating behaviors in childhood participated in semi-structured interviews on their experience and its impact. Four themes were identified: mental health difficulties, including anxiety disorders and trauma reactions, emotional pain, addiction and substance use, and coping and resilience. Intergenerational transmission of parental alienation was found. Confusion in understanding their experience of alienation, the mental health sequelae, and elevated levels of suicidal ideation were found. This study demonstrated the insidious nature of parental alienation and parental alienating behaviors and provided further evidence of these behaviors as a form of emotional abuse. View Full-Text
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Have your children turned against you? Do they resist spending time with you? Have they joined with your ex in treating you with contempt? If so, they may be suffering from parental alienation.

In this article I provide an overview and summary of parental alienation to help separated and divorced parents, grandparents, and others affected by this problem to identify, prevent, and heal psychologically damaging fractured relationships.

You can read more about parental alienation by clicking on the links at the end of this article.

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A big part of my Firm’s approach to divorce law practice is helping clients navigate communications with a High Conflict Personality (HCP).  Many times, the Court will order that the parties limit communication to online monitored platforms like “Our Family Wizard” or “Talking Parents,” but regardless of the platform, difficult, angry, offensive or high conflict narratives can emerge in this messaging from one side. Too often the impulse is to respond in kind, but this kind of like-kind response is almost always counterproductive. Bill Eddy is a longstanding expert in managing High Conflict personalities, and one of his most popular methodologies for managing communications with a HCP is the following:

KEY POINTS

  • Brief: It helps to keep it to one paragraph, three to five sentences.
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The Devastating Effects of Parental Alienation on Children

Anger, guilt, grief, disconnection, and low self-esteem.

Parental alienation is a form of child abuse that we are only beginning to recognize. Technically speaking, it’s when a child aligns with one parent and rejects its other parent for reasons that are not warranted. According to The Parental Alienation Study Group, at least 3.9 million children in the United States are “moderately to severely” alienated from a parent. Put another way, there are three times as many children in the United States who are alienated from a parent than there are children with autism.
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In the USA alone, an alarming number of families, estimated over 22 million, are affected by parental alienation. Millions of children are held psychological hostage by parents they trust.

Through manipulation and coercion, innocent children are weaponized against the alienated parent. Children are involuntarily forced to align entirely with one parent and sever ties with the other. They are forbidden to love a parent with whom they were previously close to.

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Targeted parents and alienated children suffer the effects of this atrocity for a lifetime.

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Being in a relationship with a High Conflict Person (HCP) or a toxic person can be debilitating. Many adults with children will hold off on seeking help from the courts, or seeking a separation from the HCP in order to preserve the status quo for their children. But, as many are beginning to understand, children raised in a home with a HCP or toxic parent can suffer later in life.

Law Offices of Michael F. Roe has, for decades now, been managing divorce and child custody cases with HCPs.  “Understanding high conflict personalities is the missing piece in managing high conflict disputes.” – Bill Eddy, author of Splitting.

Take a look through our blog and the website for information about divorce and the HCP or personality disordered spouse.  We have the experience and the expertise to manage these cases, and open doors to a better future for parents and their children affected by HCPs.

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