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Preface

I have spent more than two decades of my practice focused, with some intensity, on the problem of parental alienation. In that time I have represented targeted parents and, in a smaller number of cases, parents accused of alienating conduct. I have been retained as a consulting and testifying expert on the subject of parental alienation, and I was one of the attorneys connected to In re Marriage of Bates, the Illinois Supreme Court case that remains a landmark in this field. I say all of this not to establish authority for its own sake, but to be candid with the reader about the vantage point from which this book is written. The majority of the data and narrative in this book derives from the decades of posts that I have written in my Illinois Divorce Lawyer Blog.

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This is a practice guide, and its intended reader is the guardian ad litem — the attorney appointed under Section 506 of the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act to investigate the facts of a case, interview the child and the parties, and report to the court in the best interests of the child. It is also written with child representatives, attorneys for the child, family-law practitioners, evaluators, and judges in mind, because the guardian ad litem never works in isolation. But the organizing question of every chapter is the practical one that a guardian ad litem must answer: what do I actually do when a case lands on my desk with allegations that one parent is turning a child against the other?

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Collaborative Law in Illinois Divorce Cases: A Cooperative Alternative to Litigation

Divorce does not have to be resolved through a courtroom battle. In Illinois, spouses may be able to use collaborative law, a structured process designed to help them reach mutually acceptable agreements while avoiding contested litigation. The process can address divorce, property distribution, parenting time, significant decision-making, maintenance, child support, and related marital agreements.

How the Collaborative Process Works

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For 15 years I have written a nationally recognized Family Law blog at www.illinoisdivorcelawyerblog.com, focusing on complex subjects including Parental Alienation in Illinois child custody cases. Drawing from these blog posts and my research as a longstanding member of Parental Alienation Study Group , this concise book is now available on Amazon. My hope in working on this book is that this book will be a helpful resource for all family law professionals in understanding the phenomenon of child estrangement and alienation in family systems and family law cases.
“I take parental alienation seriously as a real and damaging phenomenon. I have watched it destroy relationships between loving parents and their children, and I have watched it inflict lasting harm on the children themselves.”
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Michael Roe wrote the foreword and had a part in some editing of Bill Eddy’s landmake book, Splitting (1st Edition). The book started with a lunch meeting called by Bill in San Diego with Michael Roe and Randi Kreger to discuss Bill’s ideas for the book he wanted to write. When it came time to name the book, over a phone call Michael Roe suggested to Bill and Randi Kreger thename “Splitting,” as a divorce is sometimes called “splitting up” and there is the psychological term for abnormal black-and-white thinking called “splitting.”  Splitting is assciated with a BPD defense mechanism, where individuals view people, situations, or themselves in extreme, all-or-nothing terms (e.g., “all good” or “all bad”) without shades of gray.

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“Protect Yourself from Manipulation, False Accusations, and Abuse”

Divorce is difficult under the best of circumstances. When your spouse has borderline personality disorder (BPD) traits, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) behaviors, or is manipulative, divorcing can be especially complicated. While people with these tendencies may initially appear convincing and even charming to lawyers and judges, you know better―many of these “persuasive blamers” leverage false accusations, attempt to manipulate others, launch verbal and physical attacks, and do everything they can to get their way.

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Bears Legend Wins Divorce Court Battle After Wife Attempted to Seize Majority of Assets

 Posted April 24, 2026
Ranking the 100 best Bears players ever: No. 26, Olin Kreutz – Chicago  Tribune
Another NFL legend has secured a major victory — not under stadium lights, but inside a courtroom where legacy, trust, and financial fairness were at stake.
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Please see the flyer below announcing an upcoming virtual conference that takes place in India and of which PASG is a sponsor. Anyone in India and the rest of Asia as well as Australia may wish to attend. If you are a very early riser, members in the U.S. can choose to join in.

Zoom login details for the session that includes Dr. William Bernet, the founder and first president of PASG, are listed below.

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Law Offices of Michael F. Roe Family Law Blog: Once Again One of the “Best on the Planet!”
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“The best Divorce blogs curated and ranked based on multiple factors, including content relevancy, subject expertise, posting frequency, and freshness of content. Blogs with highest credibility within the Divorce space are ranked higher. This list is updated regularly to ensure it reflects the most active, influential, and valuable Divorce blogs on the internet today.”
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Gathering Your Financial Ducks in a Row: What Documents You’ll Need in the Early Days of an Illinois Divorce
If you’re just starting the divorce process in Illinois, the paperwork can feel like a mountain—especially when it comes to finances. But here’s the good news: pulling together the right documents early on isn’t as scary as it sounds, and it actually makes the whole journey smoother. Think of it as creating a clear snapshot of your household’s money picture so everything (from child support and spousal maintenance to dividing assets fairly) can be handled transparently and equitably.
In Illinois, both spouses are required to complete a standardized Financial Affidavit (Family & Divorce Cases)—the official Supreme Court-approved form—very early in the case. This isn’t optional; it’s a key part of the initial stages, often due within the first 30 days or before asking the court for temporary support or fees. The affidavit details your income, expenses, assets, and debts under oath, and you’ll attach supporting documents to back it up. Getting organized now helps you (and your attorney) avoid delays, show good faith, and set the stage for a smoother resolution.
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Do you have questions about the use of Facetime, Zoom or similar forms of video parenting time with your kids?

Here’s a hopefully helpful article from family lawyer Michael Roe about the use of these technologies.

Divorce law in Illinois continues to evolve with technology and changing family dynamics. One of the most significant emerging topics in recent years involves virtual parenting time — the use of electronic communication methods (such as video calls, phone calls, or messaging) to facilitate parent–child contact when in-person parenting time is not possible. As families navigate long distances or busy schedules, this development has become a vital aspect of maintaining healthy parent–child relationships after divorce.

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