Michael Roe wrote the foreword and had a part in some editing of Bill Eddy’s landmake book, Splitting (1st Edition). The book started with a lunch meeting called by Bill in San Diego with Michael Roe and Randi Kreger to discuss Bill’s ideas for the book he wanted to write. When it came time to name the book, over a phone call Michael Roe suggested to Bill and Randi Kreger thename “Splitting,” as a divorce is sometimes called “splitting up” and there is the psychological term for abnormal black-and-white thinking called “splitting.”  Splitting is assciated with a BPD defense mechanism, where individuals view people, situations, or themselves in extreme, all-or-nothing terms (e.g., “all good” or “all bad”) without shades of gray.

“Protect Yourself from Manipulation, False Accusations, and Abuse”

Divorce is difficult under the best of circumstances. When your spouse has borderline personality disorder (BPD) traits, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) behaviors, or is manipulative, divorcing can be especially complicated. While people with these tendencies may initially appear convincing and even charming to lawyers and judges, you know better―many of these “persuasive blamers” leverage false accusations, attempt to manipulate others, launch verbal and physical attacks, and do everything they can to get their way.

Do you need to prove fault to start a divorce in Illinois? Divorce law in Illinois has changed dramatically in recent decades. For most of the state’s history, spouses seeking a divorce had to allege fault—adultery, cruelty, abandonment, or similar misconduct. That all changed with the 2016 amendments to the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (750 ILCS 5/), which made “irreconcilable differences” the sole ground for divorce in Illinois. This reform reshaped the legal process, emotional dynamics, and privacy expectations for families navigating dissolution.

The Move from Fault to No-Fault Divorce

From as early as 1874, Illinois law listed specific fault-based justifications for divorce. Each required proof, testimony, and often public disclosure of intimate details in open court. The process was emotionally taxing and socially charged. Lawmakers, concerned about divorce’s moral implications, even imposed a mandatory one-year waiting period in 1905 before remarriage could occur—two years if adultery was involved.