As part of my law practice I am fairly heavily invested in the study of psychological issues in divorce, including issues such as personality disorders and the pathology of parental alienation. Included in my approach to the psychology of divorce is the study of how to make life changes less stressful and how to manage a divorce and custody case with tools to lessen the severe stresses that a contested divorce involves.
Reading an article from a prominent psychologist neuroscientist and author, the following observation was made:
“The stress of divorce is … equivalent to the stress of experiencing a car crash every day over six months.” Lyubomirsky, 2013, p. 15 of “What You May Not Know – Soundbytes from The Myths of Happiness,” Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D.
Divorce certainly can be stressful. Whether a divorce approximates the trauma of a daily car crash, I am not sure, but in my practice, all efforts are made to make the process of divorce as manageable and as comfortable as possible. One means toward this goal is good preparation and coaching of my clients: so much anxiety can come from clients fearing the unknowns in the process. Another approach is to bring my experience from actively managing complex cases for over 20 years, using mediation, negotiation, and trial experience (when negotiation fails).
Finally, I do try to bring to bear my experience not just as a lawyer but as counsel: I counsel and coach my clients through the process to educate them and set appropriate goals and expectations. Finally, if a client needs clinical therapy, or the children are acting out or having troubles in the midst of change, I help them connect with therapists that can provide appropriate counseling and therapy for the client and the children.
A difficult divorce need not feel like a daily car crash. My job is to be an experienced vehicle for positive client outcomes and professional management of the case. Please contact me if you have questions or concerns about your family situation, and I will be happy to help lessen the stress of divorce for you.