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Quick Responses to High Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks

I highly recommend the following book by my colleague and author of Splitting (1st Ed). I wrote the foreword to Bill’s first BPD and Divorce book, and have followed the great work he is doing in the High Conflict Personalities training area. Bill is a former clinician, who turned to the practice of family law in San Diego where he developed his cutting edge perspectives on divorce and high conflict personalities.

BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email and Social Media Meltdowns
By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.

We live in an age of rapid change and instant communication. We also live in a Culture of Blame and Disrespect. Managing your responses to high-conflict emails, texts, letters, and social media meltdowns is imperative.

A BIFF response can be applied in any communication anywhere – on the Internet, in a letter or in person. It can be used at work, earning you respect and success. It can help you get along with difficult family members, friends, neighbors and others anywhere in your life. BIFF was designed to protect you and your reputation by responding quickly and civilly to people who treat you rudely – while being reasonable in return.

BIFF stands for Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm. A BIFF response is easy to remember, but hard to do. It takes practice! This little book gives over 20 examples of BIFF responses for all areas of life – plus additional tips to help you deal with high-conflict people anywhere. See if you can do a BIFF! Not everyone can.

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