ILLINOIS DIVORCE LAW BLOG

It’s rare to run across someone that does not have a Facebook or Twitter account. While few teens these days exist without a Facebook account, Facebook has been especially popular among adult users, allowing the account holder to share family stories, photographs, and to reconnect with long lost classmates.

Facebook has also begun to have some interesting interplay with divorce and custody litigation. See this recent story about how a Facebook account was used by divorcing parties in a high conflict divorce case: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/the-hot-button/the-most-bizarre-use-of-facebook-in-a-divorce-case-ever/article2054594/

I observed only last week a hearing in one of our Illinois courts that involved an interesting (and probably not uncommon) use of Facebook. The Wife was on the witness stand testifying to her relationship, or lack thereof, with a gentleman whom the Husband claims is a paramour that has had contact with their couple’s minor child. Wife denied any real relationship, and denied that the alleged paramour had ever been in their home.

No one wishes to spend a lot of money on their divorce. This statement has always been true for most families, and it’s even more true today as Illinois families struggle with houses “under water,” and employment opportunities lessened by the economic collapse. One good way for litigants to avoid spending a lot of money on their divorce is to make a sincere effort to avoid contested court litigation and a final trial on the divorce issues. Trials, as you might imagine, take a lot of attorney preparation time and actual court time. Trials are expensive.

To avoid trial the effort must be made to negotiate a settlement. Reaching settlement is desirable, but many people find that when they are dealing with issues of custody, spousal support, and division of property, that reaching settlements is difficult.

Through many years of experience as a trial lawyer, I have developed some key points for success through negotiating settlements. Here are a few:

CNN is running a story today that discusses the use by a litigant of a “sex tape.” The tape itself seems to be of the husband and the wife, and the anchor of the news program is taking calls to poll the audience as to how far the gloves need to come off, when a husband and wife are divorcing. One of the spouses wishes to use the private sex tape as “ammunition” in the divorce.

Part of my practice is aggressive litigation, and the other part collaborative practice and negotiated settlements. I am a trial lawyer, and have been since the first days I was a lawyer, in the 1980’s. I am always comfortable employing any evidence that I feel will benefit my client’s reasoned goals in a case.

Is having a sex tape useful? My guess is that, in most cases, it is not. Illinois does not assess the conduct of the parties in dividing assets and liabilities. Sexual behaviors of a parent may or may not be a factor with respect to a custody issue in the case. Certainly, a sex tape made by the parents, expected to be held private, likely makes the ‘leaker’ of the tape look bad. Revenge is a dish best served cold, as the adage goes, but revenge really has no place in a divorce case, unless as a litigant you wish to have more stress, acrimony, and spend more money on legal fees. No one wants that.