I have touched on this subject before in some of my posts, but the theme does bear repeating. One of the pleasures of my work and mission to help people in toxic situations is that most all of my clients in marriages with NPDs or BPDs are very good people, Often, they are empathic, and caring, and are always wonderful people and parents to their children. Yet, they have suffered with emotional abuse for years and sometimes physcial abuse from the NPD/BPD spouse. My work has allowed me to be of service and help to parents and kids caught in a relationship with a toxic personality. Contact my office if the themes here resonate with you and you are looking for a way to create an intervention, and a new life free from a history of abuse and suffering.
An article today caught my attention, and it may be useful for readers caught in these relationships and needing a skillful plan in order to manage a divorce from a narcissist or someone with toxic and angry borderline traits.
These 10 things happen when a narcissist ends up in a relationship with an empath…
An empath, or empathetic person, can often be drawn into a relationship with a narcissist. Empaths have a strong desire to take care of people and that care is often taken advantage of especially by people like narcissists who need constant validation.
There are ten clear signs that someone is in a relationship with a narcissist. These ten signs apply specifically to empaths who would seek to heal a narcissist. Even in the face of adversity, an empath will try to heal and nurture a relationship. Do these ten signs apply to your relationship?
According to Psychology Today, “Highly sensitive people can become targets for narcissists.” Psychology Today goes on to say that narcissists are expert emotional manipulators and warn that this can make an empath an easy target for them. An empath’s strong compassion makes them highly vulnerable to a narcissist’s manipulation.
#2 The empath puts the narcissist’s feelings above theirs.
Psychology Today tells us that an empath’s giving nature means that they put other people’s needs before theirs by nature. Since you are so sensitive you are unlikely to say no to someone and that fulfilling nature feeds into the ego of the narcissist.
#3 The narcissist feeds off the kindness of the empath.
A narcissist will use their relationship with a highly sensitive and empathetic person to feed their own ego. Psychology Today says that the narcissist will use the empath to give them a constant supply of praise to feed their “insatiable appetite” for attention and admiration.
#4 The narcissist uses manipulation against the empath.
According to Psychology Today, narcissists will use everything from charm, to deception in order to manipulate the sensitive person in their relationship. A narcissist will try to quickly gain control of the relationship. Today reports that narcissistic people are often controlling in their relationship and that is part of the manipulation process.
#5 The empath enjoys giving praise to the narcissist.
While the narcissist is guilty of manipulating the empathetic person, empaths are also guilty of using the narcissist for their own gratification. According to Psychology Today, the empath likely feels good about themselves because they feel needed. The empath enjoys the gratitude and neediness that the relationship cultivates.
#6 The empath believes that the narcissist is special or misunderstood.
While many people will see the narcissist for what they are, the empathetic person will see them as special and misunderstood. Psychology Today writes that the narcissist will perpetuate this belief that they are “special” or “exceptional.” The empath is likely to believe this because they truly want to see the good in everyone.
#7 The narcissist will lack empathy and neglect the empath in the relationship.
Psychology Today writes that narcissist are oblivious to the thoughts and feelings of other people. The narcissist will dismiss the needs of the empath in favor of their own every time. Today writes that narcissists will consistently fail to respond to your emotional needs.
#8 The narcissist will use gaslighting and mind games.
Today describes gaslighting as “a power struggle tactic in which a person makes a victim question their reality.” Narcissists will attempt to make the empath think they are going crazy by claiming that they never said things or that an event that occurred never actually happened.
#9 The narcissist will make themselves seem superior to the empath.
Being a narcissist is all about feeling superior. According to Psychology Today, a narcissist will always act like they are superior to their empath counterpart. Psychology Today describes it as a quiet smugness and it just won’t go away.
#10 Empaths that feel trapped or abused by a narcissist should seek help.
Today recommends that people who are in a relationship with a narcissist find the help of a licensed mental health professional. Psychology Today repeatedly warns of the manipulative nature of narcissists. The lengths a narcissist will go to in order to manipulate their partner are endless and should be taken seriously.
Sources: Psychology Today