Instead, the legislation requires the Family Court to "consider" whether equal time with both parents suits a particular child, and can decide that in some cases it does not.

The Australian last week reported that fathers are overwhelming staff at the new Family Relationship Centres, where all separating parents must now go before approaching the Family Court, demanding to know why they can't have a 50-50 time split with their children.

Staff at the centres say a "pub law" belief about a father's right to a 50-50 time split has taken hold in the community.

But retired Family Court judge Richard Chisholm says the shared parenting laws, introduced in 2006 and now under review, never guaranteed anybody a 50-50 time split. In a paper titled Shared Care and Children's Best Interests at the Legal Aid NSW family law conference, Professor Chisholm said there was "a lot of evidence to support the idea that children will generally benefit if they experience a loving and involved relationship with both parents" after separation.

"There is also evidence that children care a lot about their parents and generally want to remain closely involved with both of them."

Professor Chisholm said the Howard government amendment "envisaged the non-resident parent participating in various aspects of the child's life, for example being involved in the child's daily routine".

But the provisions about equal time did not reflect what most expert researchers believed was important for children.

"What seems to matter most to children, and what seems most important for their healthy development, has more to do with what happens when they are with each parents, and in particular whether they feel loved and cared for," Professor Chisholm said.

"The idea of equal time makes a lot of sense in terms of adult entitlement.

"As far as I can tell, it does not reflect what research scholars believe is important for children's development."

He urged academics to do more research into the benefits of shared parenting, particularly in cases where parents are in conflict, saying: "We need to know much more about the nature of conflict, the extent to which children are being exposed to it, and the extent to which parents and the courts might be treating the legislation as requiring some form of shared parenting, even when it is damaging to the children."

The Australian Institute of Family Studies is conducting a review of the Howard government amendments, which have been the subject of mounting complaints from separated mothers and fathers.

If the review recommends changes, Professor Chisholm said: "I hope the focus will be on how it impacts on families, rather than how it impacts on voters and lobby groups."

Caroline Overington | June 08, 2009
Article from: The Australian

Studies show that only 5 percent of parents actually sit down, explain to their children when a marriage is breaking up, and encourage the kids to ask questions. Nearly one quarter of parents say nothing, leaving their children in total confusion. Talk to your kids. Tell them, in very simple terms, what it all means to them and their lives. When parents do not explain what's happening to their children, the kids feel anxious, upset and lonely and find it much harder to cope with the separation.

2. Be discreet.

Recognize that your children love you both, and think of how to reorganize things in a way that respects their relationship with both parents. Don't leave adversarial papers, filings and affidavits out on your kitchen counter for children to read. Don't talk to your best friend, your mother, your lawyer on the phone about legal matters or your ex when the kids are in the next room. They may hear you. Sometimes kids creep up to the door to listen. Even though they’re disturbed by conflict and meanness between their parents, kids are inevitably curious -and ill- equipped to understand these adult matters.

3. Act like grown-ups. Keep your conflict away from the kids.

Even parents with high levels of anger can “encapsulate” their conflict, creating a protective buffer for the children by saving arguments or fights for a mediator’s office – or a scheduled meeting at a coffee shop. It may seem obvious but so many separating parents continue to fall down on this front. When parents put children in the middle of their conflict and use them as messengers, sounding-boards, or spies, children often become depressed and angry and may develop behavioural problems.

4. Dad, stay in the picture.

Long-term studies show that the more involved fathers are after separation and divorce, the better. Develop a child-centred parenting plan that allows a continuing and meaningful relationship with both parents. Where a good father-child relationship exists, kids grow into adolescence and young adulthood as well-adjusted as married-family children. High levels of appropriate father involvement are linked to better academic functioning in kids as well as better adjustment overall. That's true at every age level and particularly in adolescents. Fathers, be more than a “fun” dad. Help with homework and projects, use appropriate discipline, and be emotionally available to talk about problems.

5. Mom, deal with anger appropriately.

In their anger and pain, mothers may actively try to keep Dad out of the children's lives -even when they are good fathers whom the children love. When you’re hurting, it’s easy to think you never want to see the ex again, and to convince yourself that’s also best for the kids. But children’s needs during separation are very different from their parents. Research reports children consistently saying, “Tell my dad I want to see him more. I want to see him for longer periods of time. Tell my mom to let me see my dad.”

6. Be a good parent.

You can be forgiven for momentarily “losing it” in anger or grief, but not for long. Going through a separation is not a vacation from parenting -providing appropriate discipline, monitoring your children, maintaining your expectations about school, being emotionally available. Competent parenting has emerged as one of the most important protective factors in terms of children’s positive adjustment to separation.

7. Manage your own mental health.

If feelings of depression, anxiety, or anger continue to overwhelm you, seek help. Even a few sessions of therapy can be enormously useful. Remember, your own mental health has an impact on your children.

8. Keep the people your children care about in their lives.

Encourage your children to stay connected to your ex’s family and important friends. If possible, use the same babysitters or child-care. This stable network strengthens a child’s feeling that they are not alone in this world, but have a deep and powerful support system – an important factor in becoming a psychologically healthy adult.

9. Be thoughtful about your future love life.

Ask yourself: must your children meet everyone you date? Take time, a lot of time, before you remarry or cohabit again. Young children in particular form attachments to your potential life partners and, if new relationships break up, loss after loss may lead to depression and lack of trust in children. And don’t expect your older kids to instantly love someone you’ve chosen – this person will have to earn their respect and affection.

10. Pay your child support.

Even if you’re angry or access to your children is withheld, pay child support regularly. Children whose parents separate or divorce face much more economic instability than their married counterparts, even when support is paid. Don’t make the situation worse. In this as in all things, let your message to the kids be that you care so much about them that you will keep them separate, and safe, from any conflict. They will appreciate it as they get older.

Credit: Top Ten Ways To Protect Your Kids From The Fallout Of A High Conflict Break-Up
by Joan B. Kelly Ph.D.

I visit a Starbucks in town, and one of the baristos is a very friendly, intelligent gentleman that I've chatted with while buying my usual grande coffee over the years. Turns out he's Dad to a young man who suffered a traumatic brain injury some years ago in a motor vehicle collision. The boy's brain was badly damaged, and only this year has the young man recovered enough to resume active life, and even attend college. The early days of the injury were, to say the least, catastrophic and frightening. Only through Marionjoy and days and weeks of this Dad's caregiving and love and dedication did this young man pull out of his injury far enough to allow the brain to heal, and allow him to attend school on a part time basis.

I think with compassion of the Dads who work hard and struggle to pay child support. I think without fondness of those biofathers that hide, and avoid work, refusing to support their children. I think without fondness of parents who really don't want to put the effort into parenting their children.

And then I think of Dean, who defines what the word "hero" means. His heroic support, love, and caregiving to his son has allowed this young man to recover. They don't give out combat medals to Dads like Dean, but if they did, he'd receive a Purple Heart for the blood, sweat, and tears he's lost over the last years, as well as a Silver Star for bravery and dedication to his son's recovery.

There are hero Dads among us. Just stop in this Starbucks, and meet a veteran of a war to rehabilitate a child with a TBI.

1. Encourage open communication from your children. Although the complete scope of the process might immediately escape children, it's important that you take time to allow a child to express his or her feelings about the event. This is a way in which you can both come to understand outside viewpoints, as well as providing you with an opportunity to reach and explain the situation in a manner that resonates with the child. If you have multiple children, it's important to speak to them both individually and collectively, as each child is likely to have a different, personal response to the events unfolding, depending on their age and personality.

2. Ensure that all children have a stable social safety net throughout the process. Since the fundamental role of the family is to provide a safe setting in which children can learn and grow, it's important that one continue to provide this level of support even during parental separation. Ensure that children are in a safe environment and remain outside any legal or argumentative environments that might surround the divorce; if you understand with your spouse around children, remain friendly and amicable, independent of your internal feelings. Always reach out to your broader, extended social network so that children feel comfortable – allow them to spend time with friends, relatives and counselors so that they have feelings of stability in spite of the changes around them.

3. Maintain continuity in your own personal life so that you can remain a strong parent. In order to help children cope with a divorce, it's important that one ensure stability in all facets of life, from work to friendships. By maintaining an equilibrium in your life, you can ensure that you'll bring a balanced approach to keeping your life in order so that you can remain strong for your children. It may be beneficial to spend time with a counselor so that you can work through any anxiety or feelings that you have, in order to ensure a proper outlet for those emotions; while it's okay to express yourself around children, one should also ensure that emotions are kept in check and expressed in a structured fashion so children feel comfortable. In order to help children remain strong during a divorce, each parent has to be strong independently.

4. Keep legal challenges outside of the child's daily life. Although court proceedings are a core part of any divorce, children should not have to grasp the details of the legal fight. Instead, keep the legal details separate from your relationship with your children. When working out a legal settlement, always keep the best interests of your children in mind, as those considerations should trump any financial or situational disputes that might arise in the proceedings. Even during the direct divorce proceedings, ensure that you have enough time to devote to nurturing and taking care of your children. Also, take care of yourself, physically and emotionally, so that you have the energy and ability to parent the children.

5. Allow children an expressive outlet to ensure their lives are well-balanced. While no divorce is fun for children, it's important to ensure that children continue to have elements of joy in their life, from celebrating parties with friends to enjoying time off from school on the weekends. Take time away from the bustle of daily life to take your children to a park or to a nice dinner out with relatives so that they can continue to find enjoyment in life, in spite of the larger situation.

Credit to SC Family Law Blog

When Patrick and his wife divorced, they agreed to sell their home. Yet, once a buyer gets close to making an offer, his wife backs off, believing she can buy him out of the house with housing prices (and the equity buy out price) dropping each month.

To complicate matters, Patrick, not his real name, recently lost his job. He is going to go back to court and ask that his child support be reduced. According to legal experts from around the country, Patrick’s tale isn’t unusual. The recession that’s affected every other aspect of America is now affecting family court as well. Clients are returning to court as a way to deal with financial hardships that are affecting their support obligations and property settlement agreements.

Despite the recession, many families need to re-engineer their family structure through a divorce process. Many couples need to separate and divorce. Psychologists that are studying the impact of the recession on couples in marital distress believe that despite financial concerns, couples whose marriages have failed should separate and divorce. Living under the same roof, to save money, is usually not a healthy option for the couple, and the children.

My law office has introduced some new payment plans to allow families in transition to afford the process of divorce. Payment plans, credit facilities, and even flat rate plans can be implemented to allow families needing family law services to afford them. My office has always worked on a cutting edge, creative, cost effective basis. I take pleasure in saving my clients money on legal costs, even in complex, difficult cases.

In a recession, we all have to work together to get through this difficult time of recession, and emerge down the road stronger, financially and emotionally.

The deepening recession, increased unemployment, and a stalled housing market have negatively impacted most parties' financial situations. Many divorcing couples' homes are "under water" because of declining values and high mortgages. Other divorcing couples who are fortunate enough to have equity in their most significant marital asset, their home, cannot sell their house due to the slow real estate market. Combine that with the plummeting values of retirement accounts, and we are looking at marital asset balance sheets that are nothing less than bleak.

Although, historically, divorce rates tend to rise during a bad economy, divorce attorneys nationwide have noticed a change in the legal landscape. Some experts attribute the decline in divorce filings to the severity of the economic downturn. Typically, a recession results in decreased divorce rates for couples with limited financial resources. The prospect of incurring expenses for two households seems overwhelming for those with limited resources. On the other hand, high net-worth clients may seek to take advantage of the diminished value of their homes, stock and investment portfolios, and businesses to decrease their overall financial liability to their soon-to-be ex-spouse.

If the main problems are financial in nature, involving marital asset division or support alternatives, the parties and attorneys should collaborate and cooperate is seeking resolution along the lines that the judges employ. Introducing a neutral financial planner to work with the parties may move things in the right direction. When the primary sticking points center on custody issues, the assistance of a parenting coordinator or custody mediator or evaluator could prove cost effective.

Today’s economy requires clients to divorce in a cost-effective manner. Although some cases are destined to go to litigation, parties should attempt to utilize alternative methods of resolution prior to taking this final leap. Mediation, and a form of the collaborative law model are just a few possibilities.

Partial content credit to: Georgia Family Law Blog

Internet visitation is being implemented, primarily for the purpose of allowing a parent more access to his or her child while the child is not in their care; it is not meant to replace one-on-one visitation. Think of it as a supplement to in person time with your child(ren).

Virtual visitation allows for the parent and child to communicate on a more regular basis, allowing for the parent and child to see and hear one another, which can be more effective than the standard telephone call. It seems that those adverse to virtual visitation are most concerned with parents using it as a means to replace typical in person visitation, which it is not meant to do.

Use the internet to keep in touch with your child on a daily basis can be extremely rewarding for both parent and child, whether they live a town away or across the country. Used properly, virtual/internet visitation could very well enhance the time you spend away from your child during and after a divorce.

Co-parenting enables children to reap the benefits of being raised by both parents in the event of a divorce. The archaic belief that primary custody should always be awarded to the mother is in most jurisdictions not followed. Today, it is widely acknowledged that many good fathers are just as qualified to raise children as good mothers. Therefore, to benefit the children and save the divorcing couple thousands of dollars in litigation fees, thoughtful divorce lawyers encourage their clients to settle custody issues by agreeing to joint legal and physical custody: co-parenting.

Frequently, co-parenting plans will divide the time children spend with each parent relatively equally, providing each parent an opportunity to raise their children and enjoy spending large amounts of time with them as they grow up.

In order for a co-parenting arrangement to work, certain factors must exist:

* Both parents must live close to each other, either in the same school district or close enough so that the children may be easily transported to school from either parent's house. This will also allow children to participate in extra-curricular activities and enjoy social time with their friends, regardless of which home they are staying in.

* Both parents must be able to agree on important parenting decisions concerning schooling, extra-curricular activities, religious training and upbringing, and medical care. Both parents must be willing to attend parent/teacher conferences, sporting events, and other school sponsored events. Parents must also be able to agree on disciplinary measures when necessary.

* Holidays and school vacation time will generally be shared, where appropriate, or alternated from year to year.

* Each parent must provide financial support proportional to his or her income. Since co-parenting arrangements generally provide each parent with relatively equal time with the children, time shouldn't be a major factor in allocating child support.

Ultimately, the people who benefit most from a co-parenting arrangement are your children. They will receive all of the emotional and intellectual support that each parent can provide, which can be a salvation for them in the midst of a traumatic divorce.

Content: Divorce Directory

He offers these basic tips for divorced parents on how to make the holidays less stressful for everyone. (There's more on how to collaborate with an ex-spouse, and why it's so important, in Emery's book "The Truth about Children and Divorce" (Viking/Penguin, 2004).

1. Remember that the holidays are not all about you.
Your children deserve their celebrations even if you feel cheated out of yours. Encourage them to have a blast with their other parent, even if you can't stand the prospect of being alone.

3. Love means far more than money.
Your time, attention and emotional presence are much more important to your children than lavish gifts. You may be short on money but you can be long on love.

4. The holidays are not a competition with your ex, or for your children.
Teach your children the true meaning of the holidays, not the meaninglessness of materialism.

5. Communicate and coordinate with your children's other parent.
A brief e-mail, telephone message or conversation can insure that you don't duplicate presents or plan back-to-back feasts for stuffed and confused children. Ten minutes now can save days (or weeks) of fuming later. (If communicating with your ex takes more than 10 minutes, you probably are getting into issues better left for another time.)

6. Do the details.
Work out exactly where your children will be during what times—and when, where and how exchanges will take place. Your children will feel more secure, and all of you will avoid frustration and disappointment.

7. Celebrate with your children's other parent.
Consider celebrating part of the holidays together with your children's other parent, especially if your separation is fairly recent. Some people are shocked when divorced families celebrate holidays or birthdays together. Go ahead and shock them!

8. Set up a plan for next year now.
If you went through the agony of 11th-hour negotiations this year, set up a plan for next year now (or after New Year's). Everyone will be happier knowing what is coming, and avoiding conflict on the eve of the holidays.

9. Plan in advance with your extended family.
Work things out in advance with your own extended family, too, whether that means that you say no, spend the holidays a little differently than usual or ask for your family's understanding and help.

10. Establish traditions with your children.
Establish traditions with your children, even new ones that may be off-time or different from past rituals. Your kids may not remember the details of every year, but year-in, year-out traditions will stay with them for a lifetime.

Here in Illinois, litigants often times fight custody "wars" over which parent will "win" the custody of the child(ren). As a lawyer and aggressive advocate for my clients, I enjoy a strongly contested case, but the fight over the custody of children is a battle that often should not be fought. Divorce creates enormous personal stresses in families, and the impact of divorce on children is well known. Having parents fight wars for the time with the children seems to me unhealthy, unnecessarily painful, and uselessly costly to families.

There are cases where joint physical custody is not appropriate. The Courts are well prepared to determine these cases. However, it would be a welcome event to see Illinois evolve out of the custody "dark ages," into a more enlightened view toward statutory shared parenting. This would take the fight out of the parenting part of the case.

Below is a proposed Federal statute for shared parenting, from an Iowa shared parenting advocacy group:

Title of Bill:
An Act Relating to Physical Care of Children in Domestic Relations
Be It Enacted By The United States Congress

1 Preamble: An Act relating to joint physical care of children in domestic relations and
2 establishing a uniform federal law creating a rebuttable presumption that a request for joint
3 physical care is in the best interest of the child.
4
5 SECTION 1: This act may be cited as, "Shared Parenting bill."
6
7 SECTION 2: In any domestic relations proceeding, the states shall award joint physical
8 care to both joint custodial parents upon the request of either parent during the proceedings
9 on the initial dissolution petition or during the proceedings on a modification of the original
10 custody order.
11
12 SECTION 3: A rebuttable presumption exists that a request for joint physical care by either
13 parent is in the best interest of the child, the burden of proof to rebut the presumption rests
14 on the party denying that joint physical care is in the best interest of the child, and such
15 party shall demonstrate that joint physical care is not in the best interest of the child by clear
16 and convincing evidence.

Schedule a consultation appointment with the lawyer. This will give you an opportunity to evaluate how you are treated by the staff and will give you some time to interact with and interview the lawyer. After spending thirty minutes to one hour with the lawyer, you should have a good feel for whether he or she is the right lawyer for you. One factor that is often overlooked is whether a lawyer’s personality compliments yours. You divorce lawyer is someone with whom you will be sharing many intimate details of your life as well confidential financial information. He or she must be someone with whom you are comfortable and whom you trust.

During the initial consultation with the potential lawyer, you may consider asking him the following 9 questions:

1. Do you specialize in family law? If you needed back surgery, would you go to a general practitioner? Of course not. Likewise, there are many lawyers who are general practitioners that will handle a divorce case. In addition, they take business matters, bankruptcies, criminal cases, etc. That is not the type of lawyer you want handling your divorce case. Ask them what percentage of their practice is divorce and family law matters. If it is not at least 90-100% of their practice, go elsewhere. Determine the lawyer's involvement as committee member or chair of a Family Law Committee or ADR Committee.

2. What would be the fee arrangement for you to handle my divorce case? Divorce lawyers normally set fees in one of two ways: they either charge a fixed fee for the entire case, or they charge a retainer against which they bill an hourly fee. Make sure you completely understand how you will be billed. A good lawyer will want to make sure that you completely understand and are comfortable with the fee arrangement. If you have any questions, ask.

3. What other costs can I expect? In addition to lawyer’s fees, there are other costs that are typically associated with your divorce case such as court costs, subpoenas, and sometimes such things as private investigator fees, depositions, etc. Ask the lawyer what types of costs are likely to be involved in your case and how much you can expect to pay for them.

4. Will you send me periodic itemized bills showing the time that you spent on my case and the expenses incurred? If you are being charged by the hour, the lawyer should systematically keep you updated with regard to your account. If you ever have a question about a charge on your bill, talk to the lawyer about it. Address it sooner rather than later. The only statements you should expect to receive is for costs that have incurred on your case (such as for subpoena fees, filing fees, etc.)

5. Do you have any resources that you can make available to me to help me reduce the pain and expense of divorce? Obviously, going through a divorce can be a very traumatic experience. A lawyer that is willing to educate you about the process and the law affecting your case will help remove some of the concerns that you may have.

6. Who else will be working on my case? Other paralegals, and/or staff members will sometimes perform work on your case. You want to be sure that the others work on your case are also competent and experienced. Also, find out at what hourly rate you will be charged for their working on your case, if at all. The hourly rate for paralegals should be much lower than that of the primary attorney on the case.

7. What efforts will you make to try to settle my case? The majority of divorce cases settle. A few are settled before they ever get to the lawyer (that is to say that the parties have already reached an agreement and the divorce lawyer is only needed to draft the paperwork). Many settle on the day of the trial, in a room outside the courtroom, and still others settle at any stage in between. You want a lawyer who is willing to communicate with your spouse and/or your spouse’s lawyer to try to settle the case. Many lawyers will not make a deliberate effort to settle your case, but rather will prepare the matter for trial and only settle it if the other side takes the initiative or if it happens to settle on the day of court. This type of lawyer can cost you thousands of dollars in unnecessary legal fees. Additionally, you should ask what the lawyer thinks about collaborative divorce and mediation. Collaborative and Cooperative Divorce are becoming more prevalent in divorce cases. These cutting edge approaches save time, stress, and money.

8. What I can do to keep my costs down? By taking an active roll in your case, there are certain fact gathering steps that will reduce your legal fees. If a lawyer is charging you by the hour, you may be better off gathering many of the financial documents and other information rather than relying on the lawyer’s office to do it.

9. Do you communicate personally with your clients to assess their needs and measure their satisfaction? All other factors being equal, a lawyer that surveys his clients to determine their needs and satisfaction is likely to render better service to his clients as he is more attuned to their feedback.

As you ask the above questions and make a decision about hiring a lawyer, keep in mind that you have a right to expect your lawyer to do the following:

Once you have found a good lawyer, remember that he or she works for you. Do not hand over control of your case without question. The lawyer should be willing to explain the decisions that need to be made during the process of your divorce as well as the recommendations. However, in the end, you are the one who makes the decisions. Your case is unique to your family. Hire a lawyer that will "partner" with you in achieving the best possible result.

The new, fast-track and non-confrontational way of reaching arrangements over money and children on divorce has just won senior judicial backing - in the week that the couple’s split became public knowledge.

Collaborative law does not sound buzzy. But it is the in-method of reaching divorce agreements, with the benefits of speed, huge cost savings and, above all, minimum acrimony.

Last week a couple of hundred lawyers gathered to celebrate the fifth year since American-style collaborative law was introduced in the UK. In 2003, four London lawyers were among a handful who had qualified in the new method; now there are more than 1,250 and more than 300 in London. This year has also seen the appointment of London’s first “collaborative” silk: Tim Amos, QC.

What is it? It aims to help couples reach agreement out of court, avoiding the risk of the public mud-slinging and battles epitomised in the split between Sir Paul McCartney and Heather Mills.

Settlements are reached in four-way, face-to-face talks between the parties and their lawyers. There is an incentive to agree: if the talks fail, then new lawyers have to be instructed for court proceedings - at extra cost.

The couple draws up a consent order which is then agreed by the court. This process used to take three to four months. But last week , Mr Justice Coleridge, a senior family judge, announced a fast-track procedure whereby such orders could now be approved within a couple of days.

He said that If every aspect of the case had been agreed, and the hearing before a judge for approving the order would not take longer than ten minutes, all that was needed was a day’s notice to the court and a chance for the judge to read the papers overnight.

The fast-track initiative, which has the backing of Sir Mark Potter, president of the Family Division, comes about after an un-named couple had asked for urgent approval of their settlement because one was about to move to the United States with the children.

At first, Mr Justice Coleridge said that he thought the application rather cheeky. But he added: “However, I am, as is well-known, a pussycat, and agreed to hear the application for approval as the first in the list on the following day.”

The key benefits of the new “good divorce” method are that it is non-adversarial; solutions can be tailormade and flexible; clients have control of the pace; experts (accountants, financial advisers, therapists or counsellors) can be brought in and work with the couples; and privacy is preserved.

He did sound one note of caution, however. Lawyers needed to be “acutely sensitive” to the process failing so that “costs are not run up first by one process and then, after the trial has hit the buffers, by the old-fashioned scheme”.

Isobel Robson, partner and head of family at Andrew Jackson, the Yorkshire law firm, said there was a big take-up in the new method.

“I believe that collaborative law is the most exciting development in family law in my 24 years of practice. Clients love it; they regard the process as direct, clear and amicable whilst avoiding the expenses and latent aggression of the court process.”

Cost savings were considerable too, she said. “I have dealt with collaborative cases with assets in the millions and costs of under £10,000 - perhaps only 10 per cent or less of the costs for contest cases with the same assets.”

The take-up among lawyers is still patchy, however, with some hugely successful pockets in the regions where lawyers have embraced the new method, but a slower take-up in other areas, including London.

“The clients embrace the concept that the whole focus of their case is on settling - rather than fighting,” she said.

Suzanne Kingston, head of family at Dawsons LLP, said that for Madonna and Guy Ritchie, the privacy would be a big incentive. The settlement could be reached “in one of the offices of the solicitors rather than in court”.

So it’s down to Fiona Shackleton (for Madonna) and (Lady) Helen Ward, for Ritchie. The couple are said to want a deal by Christmas. Using this route, they could well do it.

Source: London Times

Collaborative Law was designed to deal more effectively with conflicts in divorce, while maintaining the same absolute commitment to settlement as the sole agenda. Each side has quality legal advice and advocacy built in at all times during the process. Even if one side or the other lacks negotiating skill or financial understanding, or is emotionally upset or angry, the playing field is leveled by the presence of the parties' own attorneys dedicated to the collaborative process. It is the job of the lawyers to work with their own clients if the clients are being unreasonable, to make sure that the process stays positive and productive, and on course to settlement.

Contentious divorces still exist. Custody/parenting issues still top the list of hotly disputed areas, followed by spousal support and division of retirement accounts. Acceptance by judges of shared parenting plans has helped mitigate custody litigation.

The statistics and quotes appeared in the June 2008 ABA Journal article, “Still no Bed of Roses” written by Jill Schachner Chanen. Robert Mues originated this blog copy.

Michael Roe's practice integrates Collaborative and Cooperative Divorce models, allowing divorcing couples to resolve custody and financial issues in a cooperative, low-court environment. For some families, this is the lower cost, lower stress alternative to a bitter, costly divorce.

Some complex cases need to be aggressively prosecuted. In my practice, cases involving psychological issues and parental alienation do not typically settle. These cases require careful, experienced strategies, aggressive prosecution, and trial preparation.