September 15, 2009

Illinois Divorce and Parental Alienation

amy%20baker.jpg Many professionals that work with divorce and custody cases see cases of Parental Alienation. Parental alienation can be defined as a social dynamic, generally occurring due to divorce, when a child expresses unjustified hatred or unreasonably strong dislike of a "target" parent, making access by the rejected parent difficult or impossible.

Dr. Amy Baker is a nationally recognized expert in parent child relationships, especially children of divorce, parental alienation syndrome, and emotional abuse of children. Her book, pictured here, provides answers to many critical questions surrounding parental alienation, and is a valuable resource at understanding this highly damaging process.

One definition: The alienation is triggered by an alienating parent. In its worst and most pathological forms, the alienating parent acts to align the children to his or her side and together, with the children, campaign to destroy their relationship with the targeted parent. For the campaign to work, the obsessed alienator enmeshes the children's personalities and beliefs into their own.

September 15, 2009

Kane and Dupage County Divorce Coaching

Part of practicing family law involves, at least in my opinion, a measure of compassion for and understanding of each client's family system, and the family system and financial changes that a divorce will visit upon a family. Each family is different; each case is also unique. My firm applies creative approaches to each case, with a goal of shaping outcomes that are best for the client and the family as a whole.

In helping families adapt to the changes that a conflicted divorce brings, there are resources available that can provide a measure of comfort and coaching.

Rosalind Sedacca's 'How Do I Tell the Kids about the DIVORCE?' is a thoughtful template for parents looking for coaching in how to help their children manage the change that divorce brings to a family. Even if you don’t purchase her guidebook, http://www.howdoitellthekids.com, you need to make sure you share these essential messages with your kids again and again so that they never forget:

1. You are, and always will be, loved by Mom and Dad.

2. You are, and will continue to be, safe.

3. You are not to blame for any of this.

4. Mom and Dad will still always be your Mom and Dad.

5. This is about change, not about blame

6. Everything is going to be okay.